Happiness
by Orokid
Summary: Rei had been forced to let Minako off to do her own thing, and now... it seems that only unhappiness is before her. Happy-ish ending. Mina Rei romance, off and on.


**Orokid**: _This is something I wrote when listening one too many times to the song "You Could Be Happy" by Snow Patrol, one of my favorite songs of all time. It's definitely a great tune, although its definitely not for those who like fast paced tunes about happiness and all that. It's about… well, I'm sure you'll get the picture when you read my story._

_The song aside, I decided to end this particular fanfic nicely rather than the way I normally do. Once in a while, a person needs to find happiness after infinite woe- and if a human being cannot, then the senshi of love and passion have to!_

**Disclaimer**:_ I have nothing to do with Sailor Moon, nor the television series Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon which this fanfic is based upon. Those things belong to their respective owners, which are not me._

**Happiness**

Rei sat quietly before the flames that flickered passively before her, gazing into them in hopes to find answers to questions she didn't have the heart to ask. Still, she sought for the images that she desperately seeked, chewing lightly upon her lower lip as a flurry of objects moved in the flames. There before her very eyes, a figure formed, the blazes licking the image as a dog would it's owner. She watched the person with gentle eyes, taking in the form of the young woman as a soft ache took over her own heart. Her fingers moved slowly from her lap, yearning to touch the focused face of the one she had seeked out through the flames.

Instantly, the image dissipated from sight, returning to it's usual sight of the flickering blazes that normally spoke to her like a friend. The young miko pulled her hand back to her lap, heaving a small sigh as her eyes unfocused and fell from the heat.

From thousands of miles away, the one she ached for seemed to be happy where she was, seated on yet another couch with a notebook in hand, probably jotting down lyrics to songs that would cause her even more international fame. This was what the woman had always wanted, following a dream that she had wanted to achieve long before her illness had taken root. All in all, the priestess knew that knowing the idol was out there, working for what she wanted, should cause her to accept how things were and would always be, but… No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't bring herself to smile, to feel an ounce of happiness in part of the other's. She knew how selfish she was, knew how selfish she was to want something she couldn't have.

Palms pressed against the miko's eyes, gritting her teeth together as she felt the tears form, ready to fall down her hearth dried cheeks. Memories were returning, cursing her mind with a looped track of things she had said and couldn't say. The arguments, the heated gazes that could cause a house to burn down around them, the words she wished she could take back… So many of them returned, the ache in her chest multiplying in pain the more she listened to her memories within the confines of her mind.

"Don't you want me to be happy?"

Those were the very words that had been thrown at her, a slap in the face, a remark that would make her seem like a horrible person if she said the words that were on her mind. She hadn't wanted her to leave again, didn't want her to push the limit of her body much like the woman always did. For months again, she would be forced to live alone again, cursed to a life of secrecy that she had learned to hate. When the idol had demanded an answer from her, wanted to hear the miko's reasons for not just agreeing to the oncoming arrangements, Rei knew that her battle had been lost- the war not too far behind.

It had been hard to attempt to watch as the woman had left the shrine for the last time, their friendship and relationship along with her, wiping the tears away from her face before the priestess might have the chance to notice them. Even though she had, the politician's daughter merely let a single tear fall before forcing on a strong and angry mask to hide just how hurt she truly felt. At that moment, she could remember asking the gods where the past had gone, slipped from her fingers like the sands of time

Even now, sitting before the flames, she questioned the same thing, curious as to where their happiness had gone. In the months fore she had bid the woman goodbye, she could recall the laughter, their grins, the memories that they shared… Rei had taken a leap of faith, hopeful that she hadn't been alone in the confusing thoughts and feelings that had been eating at her heart and mind since she had come to her own realization of what they had been. She had opened her soul up to the one person she prayed would accept it, knowing what her chances were after she had been told time and time again to hide the things that were very much a part of her. Her father… Her grandfather… They both had taken the time to sit her down and deny her any chance at possibly understanding and accepting herself, and yet she had still tried her best to get her thoughts across to the one whom had meant the most to her. It was then that she had been backed up against the woman's dressing room door, her lips captured in a kiss tht could cause someone's toes to curl- and the priestess could only give a chuckle in rememberance at the sound of people trying their hardest to get the attention of the young idol who had locked them out of her room and mind.

Running her fingers through her dark mass of hair, she did her best not to remember how it had felt to have their bodies against one another, skin against skin, lips to lips… And yet she couldn't help yearning for it all once again. She felt cursed by fate, by all the things in the past that she wanted nothing to do with, and she felt as though she would forever be haunted by it all. Even in their last life, where she and her friends were nothing less than princesses of their home worlds, after all the unspoken words had been said and soul had joined to one, the one thing she could recall was loss.

And now, she had once again stood by and allowed her lover to leave her side, merely glaring instead of crying. History only repeated itself time and time again.

The young miko slowly stood to her feet, moving quietly to her own lodgings from within the shrine- although she couldn't help but silently curse at the gods themselves as she entered. Even as she stood at the doorway, she could still smell her former lover as if she were born a bloodhound instead of a holy maiden or soldier, the things within the room reminding her with each time she breathed in everything she had lost. In the corner in a basket remained the things that the other woman had left, as well as the little things that she had merely passed by. Her scent remained after all this time, hurting her in a way that no mortal wound could, and there seemed no way that it would disappear anytime soon.

A part of her didn't want it to. That part of her wanted nothing more than to believe that she remained, had never left her side to go to a world that loved her for nothing more than the music she would create. That part of her liked the lies, preferred living in a world where everything that had once been remained.

Yet the truth remained instead. And it was a bitter reminder.

The holy maiden moved to the bed that she and her former lover had once shared what felt like long ago, laying down upon the sheets that had been washed, changed, replaced… and yet, when she breathed in, she couldn't help but take in _**her**_ scent after all the time that had passed. She took it in as she closed her eyes, held it as though she were test tasting a fine wine from a vintage collection, and slowly exhaled. It wasn't long before she took another, wanting to savor it as she knew it should be.

Dark eyes opened, gazing at the phone that remained upon the nightstand- and it blinked expectantly, announcing quietly that it had a new message for it's owner. Sighing, she moved, picking up the object with frustration and depression hanging in the air, opening it without even looking at whom the text message was from.

All she did was bite her lip, her eyebrows knotting at her forehead, unsure what to make with what she read.

'_R u happy?' _It was simple, as well as simply written in what others used as their way of conversing using their phones. Still, the message she had in her hands seemed to make the cell gain a weight that she had thought she had forgotten after losing the one who had made her anywhere close to truly smiling. She debated, gnawing silently upon her bottom lip as she ran a single hand through her dark locks.

She never got to return a message before her phone let out a quite whine against her palm, buzzing to gain her attention. Opening the new message, she could only read, unsure what else to do other than that. _'Im sorry.' _Another message followed. _'I nvr wanted 2 hold u back frm reaching ur dreams. I was selfish. I cudnt make u choose. U deserved better. U wanted 2 b a head priestess n u wouldn't get that w me. U wud b happier w out me.'_ A forth came, confusion building within the pit of the miko's stomach as she read the words that had been sent to her. _'Im not happy tho. R u?'_

Rei laid within her bed, moving back and forth among the messages that she had been sent out from no where from the one whom had kept her yearning for so long. A warmth engulfed her chest, but it wasn't an ache as she had felt for the past time she had spent mourning their failed relationship. It was something close to the feeling that she had always felt when she had been with her past lover, a feeling she had always knew was there yet never understood until it had been lost from her.

A part of her recoiled soon afterwards, wanting nothing more than to show the pain and turmoil the girl had granted her throughout the months they had spent separated. She wanted to lie, to tell how great a time she was having, to say words that she didn't believe herself. She was bitter after her abandonment, angry at the woman for trying now to say the things that would mend everything else that had been done in seconds.

But she couldn't deny the longing that would remain, nor the warmth that seemed to spread from her chest to her entire body. She ached not for the things that had been done to her, but for the one who had once seen a side of her that she showed no other. She wanted to hold her, to caress her, to laugh, to cry, to scream- all because of the woman she so desperately loved, whether she liked it or not.

With gentle fingers, she wrote her reply, the keyboard clicking beneath her nails solemnly as she sent the only answer she had.

'_Not without you.'_

Throughout the night, the messages continued until the singer chose to pick up the line and chance a conversation, then offered a chance to see one another in the coming weeks… and a promise of nothing more than love was made.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Orokid:**_ This is actually longer than the last bit of fanfiction I've been writing. Only a little bit, but I'm still ever hopeful that I'll be back to writing more than three or four pages via Microsoft Works Word. Sooner or later, but… I'll keep trying at least. :3_

_That aside, what did you think about this fanfic in particular? I admit that there might be a bit of a problem- only because I had put this fanfic down after a good bout of writing and I never got to return to it before the ideas I had faded. You might notice a chance of pace is all- although a part of me knows that it might be better that way because it seemed a little slow (to me, at least). Whatever your thoughts are, I'm willing to listen. "Story was good." "You need to work on that." "I like waffles." Whatever works for you works for me._

_Thanks for your time and thanks for reading!_


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